One way to be respected is by respecting others. Respect cannot exist unless it is mutual. At ang unang tao na dapat nating respetuhin ay ang sarili natin. If you don’t respect yourself, hindi possible sa’yo na respetuhin ang pag-ibig ng ibang tao para sa’yo.
Respect lays the foundation of commitment. Talagang dumadating ang punto na humihina ang apoy ng pagmamahal. At kung ang nakakasama mong kapareha ay hindi mo kayang respetuhin, paano ka tatagal? You might lose infatuation, but with respect, you can keep your admiration for the person you love.
Sa basic right na to kabilang ang karapatan mong seryohin ka ng kapareha mo. That you say what you mean, and you mean what you say. Pero hindi ibig sabihin nito na dapat lagi kang seryoso or nakaka-bored at walang kasiyahan..
Karapatan mong magsalita at pakinggan. Lahat ng opinion mo sa relationship ay dapat kasing importante ng opinion ng kapareha mo. Para mag work out ang isang relasyon, dapat pantay kayong dalawa. Kailangan pakinggan ang side mo, dahil kung hindi, kalahati lang ang alam sa katotohanan.
Kung isang tao lang sa relasyon ang sineseryoso at pinakikinggan, it is not a relationship but a performer and an audience.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Right to be Trusted
Eto ang third right. Mejo late kasi may mga nangyari sa kin na wala sa schedule. n_n
You have the right to be trusted
until you give people reason to believe
you are not worthy of their trust.
Minsan, umaabot ng ilang taon para sa dalawang tao na pagtiwalaan ang isa’t-isa. At may mga tao naman na hindi na talaga nagtiwala, kahit sa kapareha nila.
Kung magtitiwala ka lang sa mga taong gumagawa ng ikakasaya mo, wala kang mapagkakatiwalaan.
Pag pinagkatiwalaan mo ang lahat, tanga ka.
Pag nagtiwala ka ng masyadong maaga, malamang takot ka lang ma-reject.
Pag nagtiwala ka ng masyadong mababaw, maaari kang maloko.
Pag nagtiwala ka ng masyadong huli, baka hindi mo na malaman ang totoong pag-ibig.
Karapatan mo na hindi pagdudahan ng kapareha mo ang mga sinasabi mo. Na hindi kinakailangang imbestigahan ka pa, ipagtanong sa mga kakilala kung totoo nga ang mga binitawan mong salita.
Trust is a living feeling.
It grows with a relationship.
It is fragile.
Very easily broken
And often irreparable.
-------------Dr. David Viscott, How To Live With Another Person
Hindi ibig sabihin ng pagtitiwala ay itatapon mo na lahat ng pag-iingat. Kailangan mo pa rin pangalagaan ang sarili mo.
May malaking chance na abusuhin ka ng taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo. At minsan, may mga dahilan para ka magduda. The possibility na ikaw ay maloloko ang nakakapagpatunay sa pagtitiwala. That in spite of possible reasons to doubt, you choose to believe, you risked trusting.
Trusting entails a lot of risk. And if you’re not ready to risk, you’re not ready to love.
To trust each other is to be vulnerable in the same way.
You have the right to be trusted
until you give people reason to believe
you are not worthy of their trust.
Minsan, umaabot ng ilang taon para sa dalawang tao na pagtiwalaan ang isa’t-isa. At may mga tao naman na hindi na talaga nagtiwala, kahit sa kapareha nila.
Kung magtitiwala ka lang sa mga taong gumagawa ng ikakasaya mo, wala kang mapagkakatiwalaan.
Pag pinagkatiwalaan mo ang lahat, tanga ka.
Pag nagtiwala ka ng masyadong maaga, malamang takot ka lang ma-reject.
Pag nagtiwala ka ng masyadong mababaw, maaari kang maloko.
Pag nagtiwala ka ng masyadong huli, baka hindi mo na malaman ang totoong pag-ibig.
Karapatan mo na hindi pagdudahan ng kapareha mo ang mga sinasabi mo. Na hindi kinakailangang imbestigahan ka pa, ipagtanong sa mga kakilala kung totoo nga ang mga binitawan mong salita.
Trust is a living feeling.
It grows with a relationship.
It is fragile.
Very easily broken
And often irreparable.
-------------Dr. David Viscott, How To Live With Another Person
Hindi ibig sabihin ng pagtitiwala ay itatapon mo na lahat ng pag-iingat. Kailangan mo pa rin pangalagaan ang sarili mo.
May malaking chance na abusuhin ka ng taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo. At minsan, may mga dahilan para ka magduda. The possibility na ikaw ay maloloko ang nakakapagpatunay sa pagtitiwala. That in spite of possible reasons to doubt, you choose to believe, you risked trusting.
Trusting entails a lot of risk. And if you’re not ready to risk, you’re not ready to love.
To trust each other is to be vulnerable in the same way.
Right to Be Yourself
Kung ang Right to Grow means change, ang Right to Be Yourself ay karapatang manatili sa pagiging ikaw, o magbago ayon sa nais mo at hindi ng ibang tao.
Every person has the right to be himself,
the person he is,
the sum total of his feelings,
thoughts, affections, tastes, dislikes and perception.
Meron sa ‘tin childish. May emo. May rakista. May nerd, athletic, artistic, religious, pasaway, tahimik, maingay, basagulero at samu’t-saring personalidad. At ang bawat isa meron din kanya-kanyang pananaw, prinsipyo, adhikain.
Ang pagkakaiba ng bawat isa – at ang pagsasama ng dalawang taong magkaiba – ang kadalasang nagpapakulay ng mundo mo. To live with another person is to try to share the world he perceives and in so doing to permit your world to grow – and sometimes to give up your illusions – through love.
Kahit ano pa ang pananaw mo sa mundo, it is yours. More than that, it is you. You have the right to be you… to say “I am”.
Walang sinuman ang may karapatang baguhin ka, pero kung gusto mong magbago, walang sinuman ang pwedeng pumigil sa’yo. A relationship cannot continue to exist when one person demands that the other change in order to keep the relationship alive. A person doesn’t really change unless he wants to.
“You got to love me for what I am
For simply being me,
Don’t love me for what you intend
Or hope that I will be,
Cause if you’re only using me
To feed your fantasy
You’re really not in love
So let me go
I must be free”
-------------Carpenters, Love Me For What I Am
The song, kahit na sabihin ng iba na sobrang corny, basically sums the whole point. The picture of perfection is only on your mind, for all your expectations love can never be designed.
Every person has the right to be himself,
the person he is,
the sum total of his feelings,
thoughts, affections, tastes, dislikes and perception.
Meron sa ‘tin childish. May emo. May rakista. May nerd, athletic, artistic, religious, pasaway, tahimik, maingay, basagulero at samu’t-saring personalidad. At ang bawat isa meron din kanya-kanyang pananaw, prinsipyo, adhikain.
Ang pagkakaiba ng bawat isa – at ang pagsasama ng dalawang taong magkaiba – ang kadalasang nagpapakulay ng mundo mo. To live with another person is to try to share the world he perceives and in so doing to permit your world to grow – and sometimes to give up your illusions – through love.
Kahit ano pa ang pananaw mo sa mundo, it is yours. More than that, it is you. You have the right to be you… to say “I am”.
Walang sinuman ang may karapatang baguhin ka, pero kung gusto mong magbago, walang sinuman ang pwedeng pumigil sa’yo. A relationship cannot continue to exist when one person demands that the other change in order to keep the relationship alive. A person doesn’t really change unless he wants to.
“You got to love me for what I am
For simply being me,
Don’t love me for what you intend
Or hope that I will be,
Cause if you’re only using me
To feed your fantasy
You’re really not in love
So let me go
I must be free”
-------------Carpenters, Love Me For What I Am
The song, kahit na sabihin ng iba na sobrang corny, basically sums the whole point. The picture of perfection is only on your mind, for all your expectations love can never be designed.
The Right to Grow
Ito ang Unang Right, but it doesn't mean other (following) rights are inferior. Check this Preamble for intro, continue reading for explanation of this right.
Both partners must allow
Each other the freedom to grow
Even that freedom
Is a threat to the relationship
Pag pinipigilan ng isang partner na makamit ang fullest potential ng other party, pinapakawala nito ang pinaka “undermining force” sa isang relationship. Parang sinasabi nya: Dapat kang manatili kung sino mang gusto ko na maging ikaw. You must always stay the same. Ang purpose mo sa buhay ay kung ano man ang tingin ko dito. And your growth is a threat to me.
Ang paglalagay ng restrictions sa pagyabong ng kapareha mo ay isang malaking pagkakamali. Relationship should be a place where two people share the experience of helping each other become more than they were when their relationship started. Hindi ito kulungan. Hindi hostage ang partner, at hindi ransom ang Love na ginagamit na kondisyon as long as the other party stays the same.
And loving is not just permitting, tolerating, understanding and supporting. Sabi nga ni St. Exupery, “love is leading you gently back to yourself”. You should love NOT ONLY what the other is, but also what he can BECOME.
Pag naramdaman mo na may parte ka ng sarili mo na gustung-gusto mo pero napipilitan kang itago sa partner mo, then the relationship is in serious trouble. Hindi ba masakit, ang masabihan ka ng kapareha mo na “Pinigilan mo akong maging Ako.”
Threatening man sa simula, helping your partner grow and find himself always makes a relationship stronger. Ang partner ay magiging less dependent and less possessive. Mananatili sila sa relationship kasi gusto talaga nila na magsama. Kahit na malaya at may karapatan sila na magtagal o umalis, pinili nila na manatili and to grow old together.
Both partners must allow
Each other the freedom to grow
Even that freedom
Is a threat to the relationship
Pag pinipigilan ng isang partner na makamit ang fullest potential ng other party, pinapakawala nito ang pinaka “undermining force” sa isang relationship. Parang sinasabi nya: Dapat kang manatili kung sino mang gusto ko na maging ikaw. You must always stay the same. Ang purpose mo sa buhay ay kung ano man ang tingin ko dito. And your growth is a threat to me.
Ang paglalagay ng restrictions sa pagyabong ng kapareha mo ay isang malaking pagkakamali. Relationship should be a place where two people share the experience of helping each other become more than they were when their relationship started. Hindi ito kulungan. Hindi hostage ang partner, at hindi ransom ang Love na ginagamit na kondisyon as long as the other party stays the same.
And loving is not just permitting, tolerating, understanding and supporting. Sabi nga ni St. Exupery, “love is leading you gently back to yourself”. You should love NOT ONLY what the other is, but also what he can BECOME.
Pag naramdaman mo na may parte ka ng sarili mo na gustung-gusto mo pero napipilitan kang itago sa partner mo, then the relationship is in serious trouble. Hindi ba masakit, ang masabihan ka ng kapareha mo na “Pinigilan mo akong maging Ako.”
Threatening man sa simula, helping your partner grow and find himself always makes a relationship stronger. Ang partner ay magiging less dependent and less possessive. Mananatili sila sa relationship kasi gusto talaga nila na magsama. Kahit na malaya at may karapatan sila na magtagal o umalis, pinili nila na manatili and to grow old together.
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